Chitraketu

The account of how Chitraketu went back home, back to Godhead is very interesting.

Upon seeing Ananta Shesha, he extolled the Lord with prayers to his own capacity. Pleased, the Lord told him that he is already perfect, simply by having seen the Supreme Person.

In a somewhat contradictory way, the Lord then explained how all living entities are part of expansions of Him only, and told Chitraketu to accept what He was saying, and become perfect in that way.

How a person who is already perfect can become perfect by following something, is very mysterious. This is actually understood by grasping the concept of eternal time of the spiritual and material worlds.

In any case, Chitraketu understood what he had to do, and set about enjoying himself by chanting the glories of the Holy name of God. Upon meeting Parvati and Lord Shiva, he laughed and expressed wonder, seeing the uncommon activities of Rudra.

Parvati cursed Chitraketu, and Lord Shiva knew that this would happen, after all, he has knowledge of the past, present and future (tri-kala-gnya). Chitraketu, for no fault of his own, accepted this curse, saying that whatever we obtain in this world, is a result of our own past activities. One must understand, that no one is to blame. Parvati is not to be blamed, that Chitraketu was cursed. He, as per the law of karma, was getting what he deserved through the via medium of Parvati. He took it very politely, and accepted his fate without retaliation.

The truth everyone knows, Chitraketu had to take birth as a demon named Vrtrasura. Vrtra had fearful features, and eyes like burning embers. He was treated like a demon. However, the point to be noted is, that he never forgot the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He remembered to chant constantly, and by the dint of his knowledge, he was able to conquer the ocean of illusory energy, and when Indra killed him, he went right back home, back to Godhead.

So we see how a Vaishnavi's curse is very desirable indeed. It took Vrtra to Vaikuntha. And we see that everything is actually for the best, not that we console ourselves and say it for the sake of it. Also, we can understand that when we are unjustly insulted or humiliated by someone, it is better to leave the place, and take it humbly without anger, than to lose temper and behave like an animal. The simple explanation for our anger being misdirected towards the person who insulted us, is that he is simply the medium. In our past life, we may have insulted someone double as badly. This is to teach us to treat everyone with respect and love, although they may be unworthy of it. That is because every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. No one remains as he is, people transform. This natural spiritual transformation cannot be stopped. Even if one is an atheist, he will still advance in spiritual life, for the simple reason that it is the natural thing to happen, just like everyone has puberty.

So coming back to anger. My main purpose in writing this blog article is to remind myself of what happened today. In the class, Narayani mataji was explaining offenses. We like to steal energy. That is the root cause of offense. AB mataji spoke to me as if I were a thief. She was going on saying that the money is not tallying with the receipts, and that I need to give her the money. I counted, and said that the accounts are clear, the tally is right. But she was in another mood. She insisted "you cannot go inside, you have to pay me the money first". The class had started three minutes ago, and I rose, stating that I had paid for the class, and that this issue could be resolved after the class. "I have paid you the money, I have put it all out in front of you, I am going inside because as far as I am concerned the accounts are clear. You are confusing me." "What? I am abusing you?" "No, you are confusing me." I could feel the pit of my stomach emptying out, and all my energy draining out of me.I felt powerless, insulted, accused, and the right word is Threatened. I felt threatened. This is the cause of my anger. I seemed to have progressed though. Because I did not raise my voice, I was firm, and calm, and stuttering. I was defensive, and I was feeling very very angry. But I did not stay there, and the feeling went away after an hour. Yes, one hour. The initial stomach feeling went away. But I was still in a defensive state of mind, and I could not focus, or feel ok for quite some time.

I think that the clue here is - Vrtra was not threatened. He was fine. He could have been accused of anything - murder, treachery, arson, blah. He would be just fine. He knows that I cannot be harmed. I am not this body. I am a pure spirit soul, and nothing can harm me. Krishna is there to protect me from everything, I do not have to worry for my well-being. So any accusation, or insult, would not be able to steal energy from Vrtra, because he would remain unperturbed by it. He would simply not react. Not feel anything.

Whereas, I, am threatened, I feel like I need to defend myself. So there. I simply lose the handle. Now this time I just was emotionally on fire, when I stammered to AB mataji "You cannot stop me from going inside, I have also paid for this course, and this is just not done." But I said it as nicely as I could at the time, and she saw that I was losing my energy, and she smiled.

She was happy to see me angry. So she said "Ok. Let me join my hands and please forgive me for this mataji, you can go inside." But I was not looking at her, she was saying this as I entered the room. And my anxiety spread inside the room a little as well. It took me time to calm down.

"What the hell does she mean I have to pay her - I don't need to steal this money - she must be a thief - what the hell does she think." "How can she say you can't go in?" "How dare she try to enslave me, and accuse me falsely." "She thinks she is doing me a favor by giving me the opportunity to interact with Narayani mataji? She thinks that I should be grateful that because of her, I am doing something free of charge and tolerating her nonsense, instead of attending the class that I have actually paid to attend?" "What a silly woman."

"Ok Vyoma, what if you knew that you have treated someone unfairly like this in a past life?" "Yes, I could be wrong to think she is the cause of my misery." "The cause of everyone's misery is that they must taste the fruits of their actions - whether good, or bad." "O lord, give me the understanding and ability to tolerate all the good and bad I obtain in this material world, realising that I simply get the fruit of past activities." "No one is to blame for this." "What AB mataji did is not correct, yes, that is true. But I should not feel threatened either. What if her accusatory tone failed to agitate me? Her need to make me angry would not become successful." It is then my fault that I became angry. And in the future, no matter how harshly, cruelly, or unfairly I may be treated, if I can use that opportunity to practice feeling safe and unthreatened, then my life will become successful. Dear Prahlad maharaj, I have heard about you since my childhood. You never felt threatened by your demoniac father Hiranyakashipu who tried to kill you several times. You simply tolerated all his misbehaviour without retaliation, and simply relied on Sri Hari Narasimha to protect you and save you. In fact when Narasimha dev tore hiranyakashipu apart, you prayed to the Lord to forgive him for his ignorance, and save him. To which the Lord said, that as he has been touched by Me, he is now pure. All living entities are pure. This world is but a stage, and we are actors. It does not become us to identify with this play and become overtly emotional. What has the play to do with us? It is just acting. The relations are all temporary, and it is simply a matter of time before the drama ends. Better to play our part in knowledge of the truth, than play it in the darkness of ignorance. Better to know what its all about, than become attached, and upon losing the object of attachment, cry tears of sorrow for the loss.