The sad truth
I am beginning to realize just how crazy I am. I don't know my identity, and have mistaken this body to be me. I struggle with a mad mind, uncontrolled tongue, and many other maladies. My anarthas have given rise to lust, anger, greed, illusion, pride, and envy. And due to this I suffer the pangs of thirst, disease, old age, etc.
I am able to have insights only by the grace of my guru, who, despite my terrible condition, is trying very hard to wake me up.
I have only a few years to perfect this life. If I continue in this lazy, careless mood, there is no hope for me.
By hearing about Krishna one develops attraction and love for Him. By chanting with affection, one overcomes offenses. By chanting offenselessly, one becomes eligible to perform devotional service. By performing devotional service, one overcomes the modes of material nature, and the subtle body is gradually completely dissolved.
Seeing that I am unable to give up material desires of selfish enjoyment, I am wondering what will become of me. My Lord is so kind that He gives me pleasure, which I think is coming from matter, sweets and rubbing of bodies. But dead matter can never give pleasure. The reservoir of all pleasure is Krishna. So whatever selfish happiness I am experiencing, is indirectly coming from Krishna. But it would be so much better if I could serve Krishna and experience the happiness of doing so. That is my true identity, and by running away from this truth, I can never be happy.
In truth I am only capable of desiring, and I have no other power. Krishna has given all jivas, ichcha shakti, jnana shakti, and kriya shakti, the energies to desire, know, and act. With the help of these, I should, I must serve Him, know Him, desire His shelter. Only then can this nightmare end. We share the world with hardened criminals, and there is so much danger at every step. How can we transcend this situation? With the blessings of Vaishnavas./
It is interesting how seva aparadha is taken into consideration and the relevant fruits are given in the due course of time. Krishna does not simply forgive everything. There is a punishment for every irresponsible act, to prevent jivas from misbehaving again in the future. Certainly, if I get the opportunity to perfect this life, a little bit of punishnent is completely acceptable.
May I achieve your lotus feet, My Lord, by your mercy.
I am able to have insights only by the grace of my guru, who, despite my terrible condition, is trying very hard to wake me up.
I have only a few years to perfect this life. If I continue in this lazy, careless mood, there is no hope for me.
By hearing about Krishna one develops attraction and love for Him. By chanting with affection, one overcomes offenses. By chanting offenselessly, one becomes eligible to perform devotional service. By performing devotional service, one overcomes the modes of material nature, and the subtle body is gradually completely dissolved.
Seeing that I am unable to give up material desires of selfish enjoyment, I am wondering what will become of me. My Lord is so kind that He gives me pleasure, which I think is coming from matter, sweets and rubbing of bodies. But dead matter can never give pleasure. The reservoir of all pleasure is Krishna. So whatever selfish happiness I am experiencing, is indirectly coming from Krishna. But it would be so much better if I could serve Krishna and experience the happiness of doing so. That is my true identity, and by running away from this truth, I can never be happy.
In truth I am only capable of desiring, and I have no other power. Krishna has given all jivas, ichcha shakti, jnana shakti, and kriya shakti, the energies to desire, know, and act. With the help of these, I should, I must serve Him, know Him, desire His shelter. Only then can this nightmare end. We share the world with hardened criminals, and there is so much danger at every step. How can we transcend this situation? With the blessings of Vaishnavas./
It is interesting how seva aparadha is taken into consideration and the relevant fruits are given in the due course of time. Krishna does not simply forgive everything. There is a punishment for every irresponsible act, to prevent jivas from misbehaving again in the future. Certainly, if I get the opportunity to perfect this life, a little bit of punishnent is completely acceptable.
May I achieve your lotus feet, My Lord, by your mercy.

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