Health - Physical and Spiritual

I've realized that the vata dosha in my body has, since my childhood, been accumulating and then spreading out into the rest of my body. An ayurveda video I saw, made me understand what havoc I've set lose within myself through my bad lifestyle and habits.

My colon has been absorbing toxins due to chronic constipation, causing the wall of the colon to be full of ama. This ama has permeated my lymphatic system, causing dandruff and pimples. It permeated my nervous system, making me a jumpy flickering person, and permeated my reproductive system as well, making me have serious uterus pain during menstruation so much so that I was vomiting and collapsing on the floor in excruciating pain.

Now my body is loaded with toxins - amavishya, and if this amavishya turns to garvisha, I will have serious medical disease.

To reverse the damage, I need to drink warm ghee every morning, and massage my body (abhyanga) with warm sesame seed oil everyday for five minutes before taking a bath. This will improve my blood circulation, and oil my body from inside and outside, helping the toxins to come lose and float out back to the colon. From there I need to get the toxins out of my body by proper evacuation. I must keep my body and diet warm, moist and oily. This will help me reverse my vata dosha and get to a point of better balance. The result will be that my confusion, nervous anxiety, cravings, and other health problems will leave me on their own.

I also need to exercise daily - for ten to twenty minutes. This should be a priority in my life and I need to have a routine that incorporates this as a step of the day. My deep-rooted belief that exercise is optional and not required needs to be challenged and removed. If I don't do it, I can't surrender to Krishna. So it's a matter of life and death. If I don't exercise, I should not care to live.

My spiritual health is tagging behind my physical health, being dependent on it. I have now realized that I must chant saying this "Oh dear Mahamantra, Oh Holy Name, You are non-different from Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. You are my only friend, my only hope out of the clutches of my crazy uncontrolled mind, and my only support. Please be merciful to me. I know I have chanted You offensively and committed so many other offenses to You. I left You, and turned away from You. But I must return to You - where else is there to go? I am sorry. I repent my past actions. I must be punished for them my Lord. But please do not forsake me. Please accept me as your own and embrace me to Your heart. Please come and reside in my heart. Please help me kill all these demons who I am mistaking as my friends and who live in my heart and make me walk on the path to hell. I surrender to You my Lord. Please do with me as You like. everything I have is Yours, I am Yours. Please engage this fallen servant of Yours in Your service. Please fulfill this desire my Lord, for You are the only one who can do so, and You are known to be the primeval philosopher who has been fulfilling the desires of all since time immemorial."

I want to chant in this state of mind, and I must remind myself every day to chant in this mood. I hope to remember this, by the grace of my Lord and Master.

I hope that these reformations in lifestyle, habits, diet, and mood while chanting, will help me progress faster on the path of Krishna Consciousness. This may someday enable me to perform deity worship with love and dexterity. It may help me lift the consciousness of others. It may help me live a simple life of full surrender.

I thank you, Gurudeva. Without your mercy, these realizations are not possible. You are spending your vital energy to help me and uplift me. How can I ever repay you? You are my eternal Lord and Master. May all my endeavors always be an effort to please you. May my life be a basket of fragrant flowers that encircle your lotus feet.