The only way

"According to one's level of devotional service, to that degree the transcendental aspects of one's body become prominent and the material aspects diminish. This transformation is described in the following verse from the Bhāgavatam (11.2.42):
bhaktih pareśānubhavo viraktir
anyatra caiṣa trika eka-kālah
prapadyamānasya yathāśnatah syus
tustih pustih kṣud-apāyo 'nu-ghāsam
'Devotion, direct experience of the Supreme Lord, and detachment from other things — these three occur simultaneously for one who has taken shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, in the same way that pleasure, nourishment and relief from hunger come simultaneously and increasingly, with each bite, for a person engaged in eating.' When one achieves totally pure love of God, the material portions of the body disappear and the body becomes completely spiritual. Nonetheless, so as not to disturb the false opinions of atheists and so as to protect the confidentiality of devotional service, the Supreme Lord usually has His illusory energy exhibit the demise of the gross body. An example of this is the disappearance of the Yādavas during the Mausala-līlā.
"Sometimes, however, to proclaim the excellence of bhakti-yoga, Krsna will allow a devotee to go back to Godhead in his selfsame body, as in the case of Dhruva Mahārāja. We can cite evidence for this point from the Twenty-fifth Chapter of the Eleventh Canto, Text 32:
yeneme nirjitāh saumya
guṇā jīvena citta-jāh
bhakti-yogena man-nistho
mad-bhāvāya prapadyate
'A living entity who conquers the modes of material nature, which are manifested from the mind, can dedicate himself to Me [Krsna] by the process of devotional service and thus attain pure love for Me.' Here the Lord states that the defeat and destruction of that which is composed of the modes of material nature can be brought about only by the process of devotional service.

jñatvājñātvā ca karmāni
jano 'yam anutisthati
vidusah karma-siddhih syād
yathā nāviduso bhavet

When people in this world perform activities, sometimes they understand what they are doing and sometimes they don't. Those who know what they are doing achieve success in their work, whereas ignorant people do not.

PURPORT

The Lord here informs His father that people should perform a particular ceremony or activity only after thoroughly understanding it through discussion with friends. We should not be blind followers of tradition. If a person doesn't even know what he's doing, how can he be successful in his work? This, essentially, is the Lord's argument in this verse. Since Śrī Kṛṣṇa, as the young child of Nanda, would naturally be expected to show enthusiasm for His father's religious activities, it was the father's duty to give the son a thorough explanation of the ceremony.

So try to achieve success in the true sense. Winning a lottery is not success.

External and Internal

Putna, Kansa, Bakasur, Trnavarta, Aghaasur, Dhenuka, Pralambha are demons killed by Rama and Krishna.

Is Krishna slaying external demons or is he driving away and slaying the fears of his devotees? He is not slaying externally. he is slaying internally. his devotees don't even know they have such fears within them. And Krishna is slaying one fear after another, preparing his loved ones for a smooth journey into a place where people are fearless and therefore happy.
Anger actually comes from false pride and fear. When I consider myself the doer and I consider myself threatened, I get angry. But there is no threat to a devotee. A devotee has no false ego and no fear. He is surrendered, and so anger does not touch him.

The is no bondage and no liberation

ajñāna-samjñau bhava-bandha-moksau

dvau nāma nānyau sta rta-jña-bhāvāt

ajasra-city ātmani kevale pare

vicāryamāne taranāv ivāhanī

SYNONYMS

ajñāna — manifesting from ignorance; samjñau — which designations; bhava-bandha — bondage to material existence; moksau — and liberation; dvau — the two; nāma — indeed; na — not; anyau — separate; stah — are; rta — true; jña-bhāvāt — from knowledge; ajasra-citi — whose awareness is unimpeded; ātmani — the spirit soul; kevale — who is separate from matter; pare — who is pure; vicāryamāne — when he is properly distinguished; taranau — within the sun; iva — just as; ahanī — day and night.

TRANSLATION

The conception of material bondage and the conception of liberation are both manifestations of ignorance. Being outside the scope of true knowledge, they cease to exist when one correctly understands that the pure spirit soul is distinct from matter and always fully conscious. At that time bondage and liberation no longer have any significance, just as day and night have no significance from the perspective of the sun.

PURPORT

Material bondage is illusion because the living entity actually has no real relationship with the material world. Because of false ego, the conditioned soul identifies himself with matter. Therefore so-called liberation is simply the giving up of an illusion rather than release from actual bondage. Yet even if we think that the suffering of material illusion is real and that liberation is thus a meaningful release from suffering, the mere absence of material existence is still insignificant compared to the achievement of factual spiritual life, which is the positive eternal reality opposed to the negative illusion of material life. Ultimately, Krsna consciousness, or pure love of Godhead, is the only significant, meaningful and permanent status for every living entity.

Since the darkness of night is caused by the absence of the sun, one would not experience night within the sun itself, nor would one experience individual days separated by nights. Similarly, within the pure living entity there is no material darkness and thus no experience of liberation from such darkness. When the conditioned soul comes to this platform of pure consciousness, he becomes fit to associate with the supreme pure, the Personality of Godhead Himself, in the Lord's own abode.

Ways to learn: Avroha and Negation

SB 10.13.57

Brahmā was mystified about Krsna's opulence (nija-mahimani) because this opulence was atarkya, or inconceivable. With one's limited senses, one cannot argue about that which is inconceivable. Therefore the inconceivable is called acintya, that which is beyond cintya, our thoughts and arguments. Acintya refers to that which we cannot contemplate but have to accept. Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī has said that unless we accept acintya in the Supreme, we cannot accommodate the conception of God. This must be understood. Therefore we say that the words of śāstra should be taken as they are, without change, since they are beyond our arguments. Acintyā khalu ye bhāvā na tāms tarkena yojayet: "That which is acintya cannot be ascertained by argument." People generally argue, but our process is not to argue but to accept the Vedic knowledge as it is. When Krsna says, "This is superior, and this is inferior," we accept what He says. It is not that we argue, "Why is this superior and that inferior?" If one argues, for him the knowledge is lost.
This path of acceptance is called avaroha-panthā The word avaroha is related to the word avatāra, which means"that which descends." The materialist wants to understand everything by the āroha-panthā — by argument and reason — but transcendental matters cannot be understood in this way. Rather, one must follow the avaroha-panthā, the process of descending knowledge. Therefore one must accept the paramparā system. And the best paramparā is that which extends from Krsna (evam paramparā-prāptam). What Krsna says, we should accept (imam rājarsayo viduḥ). This is called the avaroha-panthā.
Brahmā, however, adopted the āroha-panthā. He wanted to understand Krsna's mystic power by his own limited, conceivable power, and therefore he himself was mystified. Everyone wants to take pleasure in his own knowledge, thinking, "I know something." But in the presence of Krsna this conception cannot stand, for one cannot bring Krsna within the limitations of prakrti. One must submit. There is no alternative. Na tāms tarkena yojayet. This submission marks the difference between Krsna-ites and Māyāvādīs.
The phrase atan-nirasana refers to the discarding of that which is irrelevant. (Atat means "that which is not a fact.") Brahman is sometimes described as asthūlam anaṇv ahrasvam adīrgham, "that which is not large and not small, not short and not long." (Brhad-āranyaka Upanisad 5.8.8) Neti neti: "It is not this, it is not that." But what is it? In describing a pencil, one may say, "It is not this; it is not that," but this does not tell us what it is. This is called definition by negation. In Bhagavad-gītā, Krsna also explains the soul by giving negative definitions. Na jāyate mriyate vā: "It is not born, nor does it die. You can hardly understand more than this." But what is it? It is eternal. Ajo nityah śāśvato 'yam purāno na hanyate hanyamāne śarīre: "It is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval. It is not slain when the body is slain." (Bg. 2.20) In the beginning the soul is difficult to understand, and therefore Krsna has given negative definitions:
nainam chindanti śastrāni
nainam dahati pāvakah
na cainam kledayanty āpo
na śosayati mārutah
"The soul can never be cut into pieces by any weapon, nor can it be burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind." (Bg. 2.23) Krsna says, "It is not burned by fire." Therefore, one has to imagine what it is that is not burned by fire. This is a negative definition.

Why the name damodara

SB 10.10.27
Deliverance of the Yamala-arjuna Trees

dāma-udareṇa — by Kṛṣṇa, who was tied by the belly

By dragging behind Him with great force the wooden mortar tied to His belly, the boy Kṛṣṇa uprooted the two trees. By the great strength of the Supreme Person, the two trees, with their trunks, leaves and branches, trembled severely and fell to the ground with a great crash.

PURPORT

This is the pastime of Kṛṣṇa known as dāmodara-līlā. Therefore another of Kṛṣṇa's names is Dāmodara. He thus delivered the two sons of kuvera from their cursed lives as trees to make true the words of His devotee, Devarsi Narada, who had decided to awaken the two boys who were intoxicated, naked and enjoying with women, to their true positions. The Yamala-Arjuna trees were aware of their past life and the curse they had received for the entire duration of 100 years of demi-gods. [1 day of a demi-god = 6 months on earth].

Why Prtha is called Kunti

Through Māriṣā, King Śūra begot Vasudeva, Devabhāga, Devaśravā, Ānaka, Sṛñjaya, Śyāmaka, Kańka, Śamīka, Vatsaka and Vṛka. These ten sons were spotlessly pious personalities. When Vasudeva was born, the demigods from the heavenly kingdom sounded kettledrums. Therefore Vasudeva, who provided the proper place for the appearance of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, was also known as Ānakadundubhi. The five daughters of King Śūra, named Pṛthā, Śrutadevā, Śrutakīrti, Śrutaśravā and Rājādhidevī, were Vasudeva's sisters. Śūra gave Pṛthā to his friend Kunti, who had no issue, and therefore another name of Pṛthā was Kuntī.

So adopted daughter or Kunti was called Prtha as well as Kunti. Just like Drupad had daughter Draupadi.

Long Way to Go

Recollection, absorption, meditation, constant remembrance and trance are the five items of progressive krsna-smarana. At first, remembrance of Krsna may be interrupted at intervals, but later remembrance proceeds uninterrupted. When remembrance is uninterrupted, it becomes concentrated and is called meditation. When meditation expands and becomes constant, it is called anusmrti. By uninterrupted and unceasing anusmrti one enters the stage of samadhi, or spiritual trance. After smarana-dasa or samadhi has fully developed, the soul comes to understand his original constitutional position. At that time he can perfectly and clearly understand his eternal relationship with Krsna. That is called sampatti-dasa, the perfection of life.

Sarira Avidya Jala

This is so wierd but I had asked to be given the meaning of this verse long back. Four years ago. And I was told "Umm, lets see, oops! none of us know!" Why was I lied to? Of course they all knew. They were living at iskcon for pete's sake. I was just another curious soul and they treated me like a girl. I was always looked upon as a wicked illusion/ trap. No one could see beyond the covering and mask. No one could notice the similarity between themselves and me. We're all the same. Made of the same base material. How can you discriminate like that. Anyway, so here is the verse. And now, after so many years I finally know what it means. All thanks to my own endeavours and the universe conspiring on my behalf.

If one can restrain the demands of the
tongue by limiting its activities to the eating of prasada, the urges of
the belly and the genitals can automatically be controlled. In this
connection Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura says:

sarira avidya jala, jadendriya tahe kala,
jive phele visaya-sagare
ta 'ra madhye jihva ati, lobhamaya sudurmati,
ta 'ke jeta kathina samsare
krsna bada dayamaya, karibare jihva jaya,
sva-prasada-anna dila bhai
sei annamria khao, radha-krsna-guna gao,
preme daka caitanya-nitai

"O Lord! This material body is a lump of ignorance, and the senses
are a network of paths leading to death. Somehow or other we have fallen
into the ocean of material sense enjoyment, and of all the senses the
tongue is the most voracious and uncontrollable. It is very difficult to
conquer the tongue in this world, but You, dear Krsna, are very kind to
us. You have sent this nice prasada to help us conquer the tongue;
therefore let us take this prasada to our full satisfaction and glorify
Your Lordships Sri Sri Radha and Krsna and in love call for the help of
Lord Caitanya and Prabhu Nityananda."

City of Nine gates

read from this link onwards till you finish reading of all the gates and the meaning of it all. this has been quoted by narada muni.

Nine gates story

this explains how you ended up in the cycle of birth and death in the first place. once trapped you had no option but to be cheated. once death of the body arrived you had no option but to follow into a new body to repay for certain broken rules.

no more of this. you must get out of this body. use your will. alchemically transform this waste into gold.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Great souls perform penances and then ask for a boon when the Lord reveals Himself to them.

Vasudeva is smiling at me. The catch is not immediately apparent to anyone. But it becomes apparent if you pay attention.

We all serve Maaya when we are in the bodily conception and under influence of illusion. Maaya is that which is not. Maaya is literally "Not Mine". That is God is not related to it.

This literal word has an opposite. Maya. Maya is "Mine". Thus the Supreme Personality of Godhead disowns everything that is observed without relation to Him. Any person or object that is misconceived as being independant of Him is therefore categorised as Maaya inspite of the fact that All this is His energy only.

Thus we have a table. We call the object a table that has a use in material comfort. Refusing to acknowledge the table as simply a part of the Supreme energy causes the table to become Maaya. Illusion.

In reality, that which is being called a table is nothing but energy of the Lord.

Thus we all serve the energy of the Lord. Indirectly we are serving Him.

If we ask for a benediction that we may forever remain in His devotional service then Catch 22 occurs. We are trying to imply that we never want to be in clutches of Maaya again. And yet even if we fall into material misery again we will still be serving the Lord, albiet ignorantly. For only those who are ignorant continue to serve Maaya instead of serving Krishna.

So what we could ask for instead is to serve the Supreme in full knowledge of Him and to never forget Him regardless of the dissolution and creation of the universe.

Oh Vasudeva, grant me the benediction that I may always serve you in full knowledge of You and never serve you indirectly, that I may never fall into the clutches of Maaya, and be so situated in Love for you regardless of any creation or destruction or event that takes place as per Your Will. I wish that in no event whatsoever may I loose my love for you or my service in full awareness of you, to you.

You really need to be like a lawyer while framing this wish, because it is something that can decide your further fate for eternal time. Any loophole can allow for potentially harzardous situations where you will be left without Him and ignorant of Him for many ages together.

Krishna you are the best. The most Beautiful, The most Cunning, The best Cheater, The best Renouncer, The most Austere, The most Kind, The most Gentle and yet The most Harsh. The most Opulent, The most Powerful, The most Humourous, The most Humble, The most Understanding, The most Just, The most Loveable, the most Admirable, The most Popular, The best Magician, The best Deceiver, The most Attractive, The most Knowledgeable, The One who delivers from misery, The best of everything, The one who has everything that can ever be desired. The one who has no work, and yet the one who creates the entire universe. The one who I have been searching for whenever I hankered after material hapiness.

Give me the eyes to see you, give me the senses to perceive you. Give me everything I need to serve you. Give me the sense to understand you, the sense to understand your motives, the secret to why the universe is continually created and annhilated. The sense to understand Your Will. And be kind not to take this sense away from me ever, even when time has ceased to exist.

Infamous Offspring

son and daughter of bhramha who married inspite of being brother and sister and subsequent generations:
adharma mrsa = irreligion and falsity
dambha maya = bluffing and cheating
krodha himsa = anger and envy[violence]
durukti kaali = harsh speech and quarrel
mrutyu bhiti = death and fear
yaatna niraya = excessive pain and hell

The Art of Devotional Service

The devotee should regularly see My statues in the temple, touch My lotus feet and offer worshipable paraphernalia and prayer. He should see in the spirit of renunciation, from the mode of goodness, and see every living entity as spiritual.
SB 3.29.17: The pure devotee should execute devotional service by giving the greatest respect to the spiritual master and the ācāryas. He should be compassionate to the poor and make friendship with persons who are his equals, but all his activities should be executed under regulation and with control of the senses.
SB 3.29.18: A devotee should always try to hear about spiritual matters and should always utilize his time in chanting the holy name of the Lord. His behavior should always be straightforward and simple, and although he is not envious but friendly to everyone, he should avoid the company of persons who are not spiritually advanced.
SB 3.29.19: When one is fully qualified with all these transcendental attributes and his consciousness is thus completely purified, he is immediately attracted simply by hearing My name or hearing of My transcendental quality.

What is my Duty

One should execute his prescribed duties to the best of his ability and avoid performing duties not allotted to him. One should be satisfied with as much gain as he achieves by the grace of the Lord, and one should worship the lotus feet of a spiritual master.
PURPORT
In this verse there are many important words which could be very elaborately explained, but we shall briefly discuss the important aspects of each. The final statement is ātmavic-caraṇārcanam. Ātma-vit means a self-realized soul or bona fide spiritual master. Unless one is self-realized and knows what his relationship with the Supersoul is, he cannot be a bona fide spiritual master. Here it is recommended that one should seek out a bona fide spiritual master and surrender unto him (arcanam), for by inquiring from and worshiping him one can learn spiritual activities.
The first recommendation is sva-dharmācaraṇam. As long as we have this material body there are various duties prescribed for us. Such duties are divided by a system of four social orders: brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya and śūdra. These particular duties are mentioned in the śāstra, and particularly in Bhagavad-gītā. Sva-dharmācaraṇam means that one must discharge the prescribed duties of his particular division of society faithfully and to the best of his ability. One should not accept another's duty. If one is born in a particular society or community, he should perform the prescribed duties for that particular division. If, however, one is fortunate enough to transcend the designation of birth in a particular society or community by being elevated to the standard of spiritual identity, then his sva-dharma, or duty, is solely that of serving the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The actual duty of one who is advanced in Kṛṣṇa consciousness is to serve the Lord. As long as one remains in the bodily concept of life, he may act according to the duties of social convention, but if one is elevated to the spiritual platform, he must simply serve the Supreme Lord; that is the real execution of sva-dharma.

Goals and Abstract Thoughts

Goals:

1] To get rid of false ego, identify it and therefore not allow it to exist.
2] To practice some form of niyama, wherein I get up early and have a fixed schedule throughout the day. I eat at regular times and the food is proper. I practice some form of meditation which will never allow me to forget Krishna and get carried away with my new found power.
3] To ensure at every step of the way that I am not getting attached or expecting results from any of my karma.
4] To ensure that I am not falling off-guard due to bad food, anger, loneliness, company of people, etc.
5] Stop watching TV.

Abstract Thoughts:

If Krishna is also working to maintain this universe by being the Supersoul and the source without being attached then it means that I can also be involved in work without being attached.
Krishna has provided a way out of this material misery for people who slowly come to realise its illusive nature.

Whether I work or simply sit around this world will continue displaying its illusive qualities. What I must realise is that I can either be selfish, and not want others to be Krishna conscious and thereby be foolish. Or I can devote myself directly or indirectly in reviving everyone’s love for God thereby making the world a better place. Because if I am even 0.00001% successful in bringing more souls to Krishna Consciousness then the passage will be easier for all of us. The whole is more important than the part. And therefore when all the parts unite in love, there will only be eternal bliss and happiness. Then there may be no difference between Vaikuntha and the material world. Vaikuntha is right here. All you have to do is tune into a different frequency and you will automatically be where you need to be. You may continue being on this plane then for the benefit of your fellow souls.

Mind and Intelligence

The mind of the living entity is known by the name of Lord Aniruddha, the supreme ruler of the senses. He possesses a bluish-black form resembling a lotus flower growing in the autumn. He is found slowly by the yogīs.

By transformation of the false ego in passion, intelligence takes birth, O virtuous lady. The functions of intelligence are to help in ascertaining the nature of objects when they come into view, and to help the senses.

Intelligence is the discriminating power to understand an object, and it helps the senses make choices. Therefore intelligence is supposed to be the master of the senses. The perfection of intelligence is attained when one becomes fixed in the activities of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. By the proper use of intelligence one's consciousness is expanded, and the ultimate expansion of consciousness is Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

It has been explained in the previous verses that mind is the product of ego in goodness and that the function of the mind is acceptance and rejection according to desire. But here intelligence is said to be the product of ego in passion. That is the distinction between mind and intelligence; mind is a product of egoism in goodness, and intelligence is a product of egoism in passion. The desire to accept something and reject something is a very important factor of the mind. Since mind is a product of the mode of goodness, if it is fixed upon the Lord of the mind, Aniruddha, then the mind can be changed to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. It is stated by Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura that we always have desires. Desire cannot be stopped. But if we transfer our desires to please the Supreme Personality of Godhead, that is the perfection of life. As soon as the desire is transferred to lording it over material nature, it becomes contaminated by matter. Desire has to be purified. In the beginning, this purification process has to be carried out by the order of the spiritual master, since the spiritual master knows how the disciple's desires can be transformed into Kṛṣṇa consciousness. As far as intelligence is concerned, it is clearly stated here that it is a product of egoism in passion. By practice one comes to the point of the mode of goodness, and by surrendering or fixing the mind upon the Supreme Personality of Godhead, one becomes a very great personality, or mahātmā. In Bhagavad-gītā it is clearly said, sa mahātmā sudurlabhaḥ: "Such a great soul is very rare."

Stages

The vāsudeva manifestation, or the status of understanding the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is called pure goodness, or śuddha-sattva. In the śuddha-sattva status there is no infringement of the other qualities, namely passion and ignorance. In the Vedic literature there is mention of the Lord's expansion as the four Personalities of Godhead — Vāsudeva, Sańkarsana, Pradyumna and Aniruddha. Here in the reappearance of the mahat-tattva the four expansions of Godhead occur. He who is seated within as Supersoul expands first as Vāsudeva.
The vāsudeva stage is free from infringement by material desires and is the status in which one can understand the Supreme Personality of Godhead, or the objective which is described in the Bhagavad-gītā as adbhuta. This is another feature of the mahat-tattva. The vāsudeva expansion is also called Krsna consciousness, for it is free from all tinges of material passion and ignorance. This clear state of understanding helps one to know the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The vāsudeva status is also explained in Bhagavad-gītā as kṣetra-jña, which refers to the knower of the field of activities as well as the Superknower. The living being who has occupied a particular type of body knows that body, but the Superknower, Vāsudeva, knows not only a particular type of body but also the field of activities in all the different varieties of bodies. In order to be situated in clear consciousness, or Krsna consciousness, one must worship Vāsudeva. Vāsudeva is Krsna alone. When Krsna, or Visnu, is alone, without the accompaniment of His internal energy, He is Vāsudeva. When He is accompanied by His internal potency, He is called Dvārakādhīśa. To have clear consciousness, or Krsna consciousness, one has to worship Vāsudeva. It is also explained in Bhagavad-gītā that after many, many births one surrenders to Vāsudeva. Such a great soul is very rare.
In order to get release from the false ego, one has to worship Sańkarsana. Sańkarsana is also worshiped through Lord Śiva; the snakes which cover the body of Lord Śiva are representations of Sańkarsana, and Lord Śiva is always absorbed in meditation upon Sańkarsana. One who is actually a worshiper of Lord Śiva as a devotee of Sańkarsana can be released from false, material ego. If one wants to get free from mental disturbances, one has to worship Aniruddha. For this purpose, worship of the moon planet is also recommended in the Vedic literature. Similarly, to be fixed in one's intelligence one has to worship Pradyumna, who is reached through the worship of Brahmā. These matters are explained in Vedic literature.

The Twenty-Sixth Element

There are five gross elements, namely earth, water, fire, air and ether. There are also five subtle elements: smell, taste, color, touch and sound.
SB 3.26.13: The senses for acquiring knowledge and the organs for action number ten, namely the auditory sense, the sense of taste, the tactile sense, the sense of sight, the sense of smell, the active organ for speaking, the active organs for working, and those for traveling, generating and evacuating.
SB 3.26.14: The internal, subtle senses are experienced as having four aspects, in the shape of mind, intelligence, ego and contaminated consciousness. Distinctions between them can be made only by different functions, since they represent different characteristics.
SB 3.26.15: All these are considered the qualified Brahman. The mixing element, which is known as time, is counted as the twenty-fifth element.
SB 3.26.16: The influence of the Supreme Personality of Godhead is felt in the time factor, which causes fear of death due to the false ego of the deluded soul who has contacted material nature.
SB 3.26.17: My dear mother, O daughter of Svāyambhuva Manu, the time factor, as I have explained, is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, from whom the creation begins as a result of the agitation of the neutral, unmanifested nature.
SB 3.26.18: By exhibiting His potencies, the Supreme Personality of Godhead adjusts all these different elements, keeping Himself within as the Supersoul and without as time.

Turtle Draws its Limbs in

The aggregate elements, namely the five gross elements, the five subtle elements, the four internal senses, the five senses for gathering knowledge and the five outward organs of action, are known as the pradhāna.
PURPORT
According to Bhagavad-gītā, the sum total of the twenty-four elements described herein is called the yonir mahad brahma. The sum total of the living entities is impregnated into this yonir mahad brahma, and they are born in different forms, beginning from Brahmā down to the insignificant ant. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and other Vedic literatures, the sum total of the twenty-four elements, pradhāna, is also described as yonir mahad brahma; it is the source of the birth and subsistence of all living entities.

There are five gross elements, namely earth, water, fire, air and ether. There are also five subtle elements: smell, taste, color, touch and sound.

That explains the difference between the gross and subtle body. The subtle body stores information just like the gross one. It can only be dissolved when one performs action without results (akarma). That explains effulgence observed around a Bhakta.

Anger

Indolence, lethargy and anger continue to be part of my everyday routine. I am working in the mode of Darkness. Unless I do something about it I am doomed.

I must meditate on Shri Hari, I must ask Him time and again what I lack, where I go wrong and how to make myself useful in the remaining life of this body.

When I heard discussions about the souls inexistance I was furious. I was determined to convince everyone that they were wrong and prove to them that I was right. The problem was that I don't know why I wanted to do that (to save them from misery). Ok I know why but who are they to me? (parts and parcels of my all amazing God). But didn't I know that stupid people don't see reason? (someday they all are supposed to). And if it isn't their time their time will come someday and maybe my words will make it easier to grasp and understand, easier to digest. Really? But why did I loose my patience, temper and calm? Why did I scream? Why did I make myself a person no one would want to listen to anyways? Was there any other way? Yes of course there was. But I don't seem to be at a stage where I can use other ways.

Maybe in the course of this body's lifetime I will learn to be patient, understanding and calm. I will learn to present facts in a more suitable way.

Something tells me that everyone there knew what I was talking about. And everyone of them was refusing my proposal to fulfill their own ends. They don't want to be disturbed from their course of action. They would rather continue living in this fantasy and so avoid any confrontation with the truth. And because I could see that I knew I would never be heard out, I screamed and shouted and screeched. I wasted my energy.

My energy, ojhas, my voice, my breath, my movements. My energy. The energy created for my use by my beloved God. I wasted that. I had no right to do so. I apologise to you Krishna that I have been so careless with your gift to me. You give my energy and I misuse it. It is no wonder then that I do not deserve power. For I am bound to misuse it. As long as I am in this mode of Darkness and I don't detach myself I will be prone to making such terrible offences.

I finally am apologising to the right person for my behaviour. Thank you for still loving me, inspite of my attachments, thank you for giving me the chance to come out of my illusions. Thank you for everything. Please help me Krishna to start meditating on you and making my mind steady. Help me make this mind a friend. Help me understand the best interest for everything by telling me your will, and I will do exactly what you want me to do. Give me the right direction, that I may assist you in the betterment of things. Give me the knowledge I need. Give me the strength to carry out my duties. Give me the courage to face misery. Give me the sanity and patience to deal with victory humbly. Because in truth I have never won nor lost.

True

Yes its true that I know a lot of things, but do I understand the implications?

I know that Death is not to be feared, it is only a phenomenon which allows freedom to the soul trapped in the body. But at the time of death, the body convulses under auto-reflex, and the mind becomes ten thousand times more agitated than ever before. In this terrible condition one has to concentrate on Krishna. Only then can the soul be allowed to travel ahead to Krishnaloka. It must be quite difficult. No wonder then that devotees spend entire lives concentrating on nothing save Krishna, so that at the time of death the only thing that could possibly come to their minds is Krishna. I am scared of failing at the crucial hour.

Another thing I know is that Karma Yoga has been declared the best by Krishna himself. But how is one supposed to cease the constant stimuli in the surroundings from affecting oneself? I am scared of this second thing, falling into a trap without realising it.

I feel bad sometimes that I focus and dwell on how cool I will feel practising the things I've learnt. I know thats a bad attitude, I should only be thinking about my end point and how to get there. I suppose its true then, that I do have some latent desires, which will never go away because I am part of Krishna. He is the most beautiful, all powerful, all knowledge, all famous, all opulent. And I, being part of Him, cannot help but want all those things which have been given to me by modes of nature in tiny doses.

These modes of material nature - goodness, passion and ignorance are making this body perform tasks, making it involved in the world, making it do good and bad and making it gather karma. I have to alienate myself from this body, focus on Krishna, and soon I will be out of the hands of Krishna's inferior energy, Maya, and under the control of Shri Krishna. It will be the intermediate stage where I am sometimes focusing on Krishna, and sometimes feeling like this body that will be confusing and difficult. Its already happening, but I want it to resolve soon.

I wonder how it is to feel nothing but pure unconditional love in the spirit state, will I become gullible to passers-by and follow them into lower planets? Or will I be met by someone who will take a test to find out how ready I am and send me back or to another place instead of letting me go home? Its true, they all say it. The time of testing your true knowledge and the time of testing your conviction and determination comes at the final hour. If you fail then, you were never into it in the first place, you then deserve to start again from scratch.

How am I to do it, and get it right the first time? I think its because I am forewarned of the points of maximum chances of failure that I will have a one up. But I better not screw up, this is my one chance and I can't afford to ruin it.

I Just Changed

I've almost finished reading the geeta. Something inside me wants me to have access to other spiritual texts before I finish reading this great one. I don't want to end up having nothing to read and further my knowledge.

I started changing a few things about my daily life. I hope to accelarate to that stage where I want to be, so that tiny questions riddling my mind can resolve themselves and my bigger plan can be divided into smaller goals and actions. Once that happens I will be at peace, and continue at a regular pace towards all my destiny. It is difficult to stop anticipating the results of my endeavours. Even though I can see a road covered with thorns and miseries, I can't help sitting and imagining where I will be in the end, how beautiful it will be, how nice, how pacifying it will be. I feel like running into the tasks I must accomplish and hastening to the end point where I will be escorted out of my struggle.

True, my mind will become more and more quiet as I proceed. I will be more and more peaceful, happier, saner. All I can think though, is how to get there faster, quicker, when will I be successful? No patience. I have none of it. It will also come to me like everything else has come to me.

I can see my feet in two different boats right now. I know which boat I want to step into. I will step onto that boat or dive into the water, but I will never go on that other boat. That other boat where crazy aquaintances are fooling themselves by trying to help me back into the miserable boat. I have to get rid of the tug, stop feeling it.

I feel so terrible about still having a foot on the old boat. Still attached to those things that I now know I don't need, yet to discard these attachments. I think, how I would like to classify myself as a queen, but know inside my heart that the truth is I am a commoner. How I want to elevate myself but know that I have no idea how to begin, how to plan the move. I know exactly what things are wrong with me, and I have no idea how to begin undoing them. I am speckled with faults. I would love to think that I am spotless, pure. But I know I am not. What a realisation to have. How can I know the right thing and still indulge in the wrong? Probably because I have not understood correctly. Nor do I understand why its wrong. When I fully know why its wrong I will automatically feel uninterested in the temptations.

My feet are firm right now, and I am still figuring out how to take my foot off the old boat. But I have to wait for some time, and I know that a storm will brew soon, and I know I will be pushed and thrown around by the storm, but the foot already aboard my beloved boat will remain where it is. There is no question of backing out now. That part of me which is convinced about what is good for me will never change back, even if I were to die right now.

Imagination

Once i crossed my teens, I wrote fewer poems, could concoct less number of tunes, paint less inspiring pictures, and hardly imagine.

The world conditions us. We change from flexible imaginative children into rigid, staunch, unimaginative people.

It obviously helps to identify with the world, do the things everyone does, think the same way as everyone.

But what about creativity. It dies. As it dwindles away, imagination takes away with itself the creativity of the human mind.

Most of us have rules such as:

You have to earn money. As much money as it takes to be jealous of a tolerable amount of other people. (some need to be in the top ten, some are ok with being middle class).

(to get some other rules replace the word "money" above by fame, power, beauty,etc.)

You have to fit into the society. (which means you usually believe in the same so-called god as your nieghbours, mostly your idea of being pious matches everyone elses, you have more or less similar opinions of everything, you bring up children the way society thinks you should, you have the same attitude towards charity, beggars, you think fashion is a reality, you think money is a reality, you believe that life started as an accident of chemicals, and we have no purpose in being alive save trying to get all sorts of things that make us happy, or do all sorts of things that make us happy, or do things and get things that a person like you should according to society).

My friend didn't know what marriage was, she didn't care. According to society, everyone gets married except nuns, so you must either get married or be a nun. Otherwise you're an outcast.

People are so conditioned sometimes that they don't have a mind of their own. They start behaving like they are part of a herd, going in the directions that other aimless people are going in. Someone accidentally does something different. People need to either support it or decry it, but everyone thinks of others first. What will the world think, what will your mother say if you did that? What will you tell your grandchildren when they ask you? No one thinks for himself or herself. People are selfless for the wrong reason - acceptance. People are selfish for all the wrong reasons too.

And among men and mice there are thinkers, who realise what is wrong and move on. If I were told to serve the poor souls that find hapiness in trying to fit in and surviving, I would refuse. Its such a humongous task, please I would like to be spared. I must sound like I have false pride, no I don't, I'm just unwilling. But here I am, fully aware that its the next step for me. We have to progress together, we have to be a team. Yes, we all have to come to a stage where each of us feels unconditional love for every other. Gosh, thats going to take a really long time to happen. But because it is makhtub I assume there is some way. God help us!

The Empty Vessel

I sometimes wonder whether its my incomplete knowledge that makes me speak so much about a certain thing. I need to have sufficient knowledge to comment on something. But this is something that I should have my own standards for. I should know enough about the subject according to what I think is enough. I don't want to be measured by someone elses barometer as to how much I know about a certain thing.

When I look back, in all my examinations I was proving that I have sufficient knowledge about something as per the levels defined by universities. So is that the best way to rate yourself everytime? Should I let myself believe that of course I'm right, of course I have the right to go ahead and speak what I know. I think yes. If I am not making enough sense then my comments will get me information that was unavailable to me and CONVINCE me that I have no idea or a very small idea of what I'm talking about.

i just prefer to prove myself the practical way, play throwball and people will know exactly how good you are at the game. The proof of the pudding...

Coincidences

There is no such thing. I admit. I have been able to understand the meaning of the term "nimit matra" through the same.

I was introduced to ISKCON by a friend of mine. I took the course there and it changed my life completely. if it were not for him, some other means would have presented itself. I am sure of that. He was as they say "nimit matra" (just the means).

The coincidences? Well I was walking to the ISKCON temple ( http://www.iskcon.com/ ) one day, because I did not want to spend money on transport. I was determined to walk all the way to the temple, which was quite a distance. I was intercepted by an ISKCON van carrying instruments. I have never seen one before on the road. Someone recognised me, I informed them that I was headed to the temple but I would walk there instead, they could go ahead. But I was invited to share the ride and the van conveniently picked me up and transported me to the temple. Divine coincidences. Always. This isn't the only one though.

With the unimaginable fever I had the night before my GRE, I was convinced that the only way I would have the strength to appear for it would be to chant OM. After allowing the sound to vibrate and resonate through all of me I finally slept. And the next day I felt miraculously energetic. The strength of a person in such a condition can only come from Krishna. The fever was the most terrible I have ever been through.

At so many times, I feel the blessings of my angels and well-wishers. That includes my teachers at the temple. I wish them eternal hapiness as they have wished for me.

As I continue on this discovery filled path, I have to take increasingly tough decisions. The truth is they are simple decisions, if I apply the knowledge I have it should be very simple indeed. But I am afraid I have promised without realising consequences, and now I am repenting ever having promised.

The Alchemist

I read sometimes, things that ought to change my life completely. But I observe the course of my life proceeding unchanged towards a strange conclusion. I realise every time that I have the power to change everything, completely and suddenly. But I lose that thought somewhere and continue till I find another book to feed my intense curiosity.

I am a book person, reading is the best way for me to learn unlike some other people. But I must match my actions as well. Otherwise its of no use to know so much.

I want to realise my personal legend. But what is it? The Alchemist, a Paul Cohelo book, has given me this new insight. When I could not find direction in other things, this book came to me. My sister's friend offered it to me to read it. How wierd, how ironic, and who would have thought it figures. She hasn't read this gem herself. Thats her life. I wonder what force made her give the book to me. But with every such sign I feel relieved that I am on the right track.

When you have the greatest of treasures and tell people about them, they seldom believe it. It is written. The world has a common language, and it has no words, omens form a part of it, hunches and intuition too. When you really want something the world conspires in your favor. When you start out towards your personal legend you will have beginners luck and the finish will be most difficult, a test of whether you have learnt your lessons or not.

This world is a reflection of the perfect world that awaits us somewhere. All the material we see around us is performing its own function. When all things learn love, they strive to become better than they are and this helps the entire universe to grow and be happy, because it comes closer to the soul of the universe. I wish for evey one to find a way to be better or find their personal legend and achieve it. It is the one way that true progress will result.

I see people who wish to be happy at some future moment in their lives. What a crazy notion to have. You must find happiness in the present or you will never find it. It will be the carrot that the donkey chases but never gets.

I wish I could tell everyone about this. If only they would listen. And I wish someone would help me and guide me too.

Aliens, White Light and Levels of Existance

When I recall everything that I have read and understood, I realise that there is a point I'm missing out on. Let me summarize everything I have learnt and felt true. I've been here before with many names and forms. And I must have learnt a lot on this plane. I have a purpose here. One major purpose and several minor ones. Some virtues are important, they must be learnt by experience. Some vices are dangerous and must be corrected by experience. Unconditional love is a feeling one gets in the spiritual form. It is the best feeling ever felt and if practised it can make heaven on earth, if felt by the hearts of all, this love will unite everyone, remove negative energies and establish peace and make our mother earth healthy and healed again. All we need is to believe with our hearts that life and everything here is beautiful, and our thoughts being the powerful energy they are, will become reality. The more people believe in satan, the more there is a chance that thought energies will create such an energy. God does not create Satan, God allows us to create realities using our dreams and thoughts. Many people are stuck in their own personal hell because of this. The universe was founded on a set of laws. These laws govern the universe and the worlds within it. So many combinations of these laws are used for creation. All these worlds and collections of galaxies are part of a large supreme being. The source of all energy that exists in myserious ways, is the holder of the absolute truth, the most hidden of all things. This form I am in right now is one projection from a central personality which represents the complete "me". A star in the sky somewhere, other projections from which go to other planets and exist as aliens. They're invisible to us because the planes of existance were designed to be isolated. Very special powers are needed to actually affect other planes. Well, little green men seem to have succeeded in it a little bit. The large entities that project part of themselves into other planes have the ability to combine with other such entities to form a superior entity which has the combined knowledge, experince and power or the individual entities. I was at much lower levels than this one and I've been through matter, plant, animal stages. More levels await me, its almost like Im playing a ten level jumanji. I have no fear of death because I realise that I'm just going to change form, but my personality will be preserved unless I wish to destroy it or I am punished. In any case the record of life will always contain references to this me. Knowing all this, how can I move forward? Where do I match my knowledge to the reality around me? I know the end point of my adventure, I know the things I need to do to get there. I feel like maybe I've started but I'm not making progress. My life is riddled with questions. I have lost my ability to prioritize. I doubt my own intentions. I forget what I feel toward other people, and I forget whether I had decided to keep living that way or change it. I forget my decided course of action, events that take place change my mind. I am ruining my own future. I can see that with each wrong thing I do I am creating my next birth, creating another form I will have to take to payback or learn. I will enter all over again, and waste time yet again. How can I put an end to the creation of my next life? How can I purify my karma? I still haven't finished reading the Bhagavad Gita.
Message Of Geeta

I have time right now, might as well figure things out and reverse the damage already done before it's too late. I have to get out of this cycle and move on to the next level. Better learn whatever is left to learn and proceed before it's timeout and I'm pushed back to redo this level.